A little humor

Ah, my Fishes…

I’ve been having such fun these last months being blocked from Twitter (x). I pity my associate, Maxx Feral handling the Orange Sun/Far Tomorrows presence there on that Toxic Shithole…

Recently he had a fun bit with the Zombie Lie a Combat Wheelchair should be included in D&D and of course “You a bigot/transphobe/worse than HITLER!” if you don’t swallow their Macrobiotic Burrito…

Maxx did his take on how it simply does NOT fit in D&D for a few more than obvious reasons – imagine goblins with a bunch of long sticks cut pointy at the end. He culminated with 1984 Ministry of Love room for what it is… Nice!

MY take is VERY simple:

I’ll just LET the fucktarded Debt Factory soy shits HAVE a combat wheelchair.

BUT I’ll demand some other things – such as a “Day Shield” spell. Add a first level spell that allows anyone the armor of a fighter wearing chainmail without the weight. One spell is a BIG sacrifice for a first level character but it lets a mage have better armor all day.  Most would scream “Game balance” but the Combat Wheelchair is the least of the 4th or 5th edition Monty Haul make it negligible.  One of the counters is it messes with clothing so the character has to be nude or mostly nude.  Ok for belts and gear, ok for a cape for cold, ok for a bikini after 4th level and full clothing 10th level…

So – the NUDE Mage Character!

She’s a “Poor Noble” as a background and is daring the ancient ruins for treasure to replenish the family fortune and get a Dowry to pay for a Male of a “Decent” family to marry her.  The more $ the more status and control.  Also Fighters tend to become “Lords” when they reach 10th level so she could also find a man who’s a muscular hero and excellent breeding not just family name.  That’s real Feminism, fighting the “Patriarchy”.  And taking assertion, a male fighter she might meet helping her in dangerous quests will be right next to her, feeling the hormones, imagining his cock sliding in her cunt…  She took a slight flaw of being a bit cross eyed due to her “Nobility” background to get another spell.  Hey, dungeons tend to be close quarter, no problem there…?  And if she makes it to serious wealth she can get greater healing from a Greater Gawd clerical temple to fix it.

So what they hey, ALLOW the “Combat Wheelchair” but also put in things like this.

https://comics.8muses.com/comics/album/Ferres-Comics/The-Naked-Earth-Book-1 This is a clip from “Naked Earth” which was all over in the 90s to 00s I think. Not sure if there’s an official site still – please DM me or post a reply and I’ll try to respond. If my DMs don’t work email “offensivenessmaxxximus –/AT/– galaxyslavegirls.com” removing the obvious for spiders the “Hallp us AI!” of the 90s to still now. I’m going to respond to real stuff only but IF the original artist has a website or would rather me link another I’d do so. Might even want to talk other things – this is “Fair use” and if anything advertisement – just want to link the right site and apologies if this link isn’t legit!

Plenty of precedent – earlier systems had magic tied to Charisma to explain the “Sexy Sorceress” of endless fantasy covers of the SW&SC boom of the 60s/70s that inspired the core Draconic game.  And for fighters who are sexy babes there can be special lightweight armor that have “Shield Crystals” – remember “Naked Earth”?  D&D and basic high fantasy (via Jack Vance’s legacy) allows healing for adventurers so the piles of bloody scratches will be fixed so they don’t worry long term marring of beauty. So nice paper thin excuse to push around hot ladies barely wearing anything in all sorts of exciting poses from fighting to being tied up and tortured. Low level knuckle dragging fantasy and that’s what Revealed Vulgaria is about! They tried to “Force Change” in the TTRPG world so we are – by making it as NASTY as they lied it is!

I can think of lots of others but now really MUST go back to working on the “Caged Women in the Hell Jail” ttrpg base…  Here’s one with a prisoner lady escaping but the jungles have lots of mutant plants due to toxic waste dumping.  Just a note that a character in a combat wheelchair can STILL be killed and while a shield spell might prevent the first scrape from eviscerating her she’s still vulnerable to .. penetration. By wiggly tentacles…!

Note I had Max (not Maxx Feral, different guy) aka Pichardettes help me with my illustrations.  AIart for backgrounds but paying him some good $ for illustrations most other so-called “Professional Illustrators” BLOCKED me for even making a polite imagery.  I DRINK their TEARS now with them bleating over “AiArt” but they refused the “Jurbs” I offered them!

So if we ALLOW the “Combat Wheelchair” into the core TTRPG and all our “indie” books surely the “Woke” will not have any problems with the nude ladies with shield spells or lingerie armor with magic or “Shield Crystals” eh? One spell can go nude or nearly nude all day and have the same protection as Chainmail… No problem there, especially if ladies high on Charisma/Appearance advertise themselves to prospective well to do MALES who might want to court them…?

Nope.  They are pathetic SOY burgers from NPC space – hollow husks, humans born without a SOUL so they LEECH their energy from others and the quickest way is “I support current thing…”

Stay strong, my Fishes!

Imperator Offensiveness MaXXXimVs!

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